What's this?! Shannon is evolving!I'm tired of action-adventure.
I also have finals, which are both pissing me off and stressing me out. But school's almost over, and more writing will be done~.
Star-CrossedStreetlights beckon to their lovers and sometimes, late when everyone is dead, I can see the brilliantStar-Crossed
stars fall to embrace flourescence.
Though the city is full of shades, streetlights beckon to their lovers. Shards of glass glimmer, reflecting, tiny firmament-worlds caught in
my feet. I know the night's brightness eclipses your dark eyes, but as streetlights beckon to their lovers, a long-lost oath whispers to me.
Sitting on steps to a lock’d door, I can watch the sky die, blazing or falling; I call to you like streetlights beck
Things Fall ApartNever did doubt cloud my soul, With dusted mouth like summer's breath. Never has the wood-rot come, To choke my heart with filaments. The grasslands broad are in mine eye, The wind's lash dancing 'cross the reeds- They acquiesce, but do not break, Dancing to the forced request.Things Fall Apart
O, move not with the wind, lest it unseat your fragile seed and scatter it to callous lands-- Lest somewhere in the tortured gale, we cease to recognize our sons, and ever do we kill our dreams.
Anti-War SonnetThe cold of winter days bites to the bone, The sun's pale light a feeble noonday beacon, And for old times we strive to atone as all survivors of the battle weaken. On cratered fields the men set nights aglow, Despite the peace for which they God implored,Anti-War Sonnet
And e'er do sorrowed eyes of women show what fate befell their husbands in the war. If, truth be told, they died like heroes fine then let all shame fade from this mad crusade. Yet far from battle died those who resigned, And they passed satisfied with all they made. Thus let the folly of our fight live on, that
Stressed & bothered.
--
Even if I close my eyes I still hear your horrid voices.
I was probably a little too tough on you, anyways.
--
Even if I close my eyes I still hear your horrid voices.
Dragan
*is an Antagonist
*is Female
*is a deviant since Dec 23, 2004, 11:09 PM
*has 100 pageviews
*is located in United States
*is idle
congratulations on your 100th hit, doll
thank you for adding me to your watch, dear.
--
"How bad you think you got it, somebody else got it worse than you"
"I dont ever wanna feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way"
" This really... agh... it's not really very poetic.
I hate to seem nasty and hyper-critical, but it really sounds like random couplets pulled together. It's also rather cliche and slightly cheesy, with the same ideas used again and again.
It horribly reminds me of linkin park and other rather bad lyric writers.
Try to find something you can write pretty things about, I'd advise. Smith your words, work at getting imagery down. Write poems with images in them.
Keep practicing =] I can't write poetry. The closest I come is my single short story."
Criticism does not mean 'let's be soooo nice that it will never help the person. Ever.'.
I give out the sort of comments to other's work that I would like to see. I told him what was wrong with it. Criticism that's not constructive is "you suck." and that is all.
Please.
Your opinions matter little when it comes to my criticism.
--
"How bad you think you got it, somebody else got it worse than you"
"I dont ever wanna feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way"
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